Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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