Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
