i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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