no, he came in my armpit
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
