Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
