i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
