I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
