what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize