Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
