I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
there is glitter all over my balls
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize