I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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