he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
