I feel like abortions should bother me more
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize