Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
