and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
