Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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