First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
So. Much. Porn.
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