My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
