Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
