I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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