You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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