Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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