new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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