That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
