New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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