it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
