KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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