he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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