He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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