i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
