Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Randomize
