I must be too annoying 4 u.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
