he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
