Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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