I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
no you cant smoke seaweed
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize