Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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