Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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