idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
