are you so shy because you have an std?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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