We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
