Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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