He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
