Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
