Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
