Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
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i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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