You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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