i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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