new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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