What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
