its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
