U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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