We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
