What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
