I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
