We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
