Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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