Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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