My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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