theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
