my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
