Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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