I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
