I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We don't watch enough power rangers
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
