Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
