i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
