So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
