I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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