hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
