That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
