she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
