hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
