bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize