Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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