This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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